Paresh’s Blog

[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I’m thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I’m thirty seven — I’m not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can’t just call you `Man’.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis’.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn’t know you were called `Dennis.’
DENNIS: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,’ but from the behind you looked–
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king…
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An’ how’d you get that, eh? By exploitin’ the workers — by ‘angin’ on to our outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an’ social differences in our society! If there’s ever going to be any progress–
WOMAN: Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here. Oh — how d’you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who’s castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we’re all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That’s what it’s all about if only people would–
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don’t have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,–
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: –but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more–
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh — who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don’t vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, ‘ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up! [Arthur starts hitting and shaking Dennis]
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up! [Still hitting Dennis]
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that, eh? That’s what I’m on about — did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn’t you?

haha, pure genius.

the only thing worse than acting my age is apparently acting a year less than my age.

haha, ok, so real quick before bed, here’s a transcript of a clip from jeopardy involving everyone’s favorite mormon (other than steve young), ken jennings:

Ken Jennings: Tool Time for $200
Alex Trebek: This term for a long-handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker.
Ken Jennings: What is a hoe?
Alex Trebek: No…(crowd gets it and starts laughing)…whoaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaa…they teach you that in school in Utah huh?

friggin hilarious.

so i had started typing a long entry about how much i enjoy satirical news (i.e. the onion) but it was getting too long and too pointless since all i really wanted to do was set up this top 5 list from the most recent issue of the squelch:

Top Five Pick Up Lines for Poli Sci Majors

5. Need a job? Some money? Here is half my sandwhich.

4. How about you show me your Capitol Hills

3. All it took was a minute of legislative analysis and you gave me this Washington Monument

2. What’s the point of going to college when you can get a B.A. in Polisci!

1. I’m seeing U.N.-me getting it on, IMFing you from behind, and NAFTA-we can get some breakfast. Just dont give me USAID’s.

just a few things things which are related in no way, shape or form:

so i’ve been sick the last few days. i went to sleep tuesday night feeling fine, but wednesday morning was a whole dif’rent story. i experieced quite a few maladies before 10am (the specifics of which i won’t go into b/c i’m sure the specifics are the last thing you want to hear), i skipped all my classes and just laid on the couch clinging to life. ok, it wasn’t that serious but i felt like total and complete crap. so i didn’t feel great thursday but i also wasn’t experiencing any of the pervious day’s maladies so i sucked it up and went to class. i was totally exhausted and dehydrated but i made it through the day. i assumed i just had a stomach flu or something and i went to bed thursday night thinking i was out of the woods. well, friday morning proved me wrong. so i spent all day friday on the couch…again, clinging to life…again. but the weekend has been better. i’m still completely afraid to eat or drink anything but i’ve successfully held on to 4 meals [knock on wood]. we’ll see how tomorrow morning works out.

and i think i’m really starting to hate my glasses. my eyes were fine when i got to davis but alas 4 years of cable tv and computer games kinda killed my eyes. i finally got my eyes checked in september of ‘03 and it turned out that only my left eye needed a lens. well, long-story-about-my-attempt-to-wear-contacts-short, i ended up with glasses. at the time, they were a godsend. i could use my computer for more than hour without straining my eyes, i could read car license plates, and most importantly, i could read the score of football games in the little box they put in the upper corner during the game. but its been more than a year now and i think they’ve actually made my eyes worse. before i could take my glasses off when i got home and be just fine. or i could drive around town without them and not be worried. now, i’m straining to see the channel number that comes up in the tivo screen, my left eye feels slower (don’t ask me how it feels slower, it just does) and i just can’t see as well as i used to when i didn’t have them. damn you lenses from hell, damn you.

lastly, i’m making my pick 2 weeks in advance: patriots by 4.5. brady’s good, no doubt about that, but i think the combination of mcnabb and mitchell’s ‘fros will create a force to be reckoned with.