Paresh’s Blog

Take Our Quiz: How Geeky Are You? - Next Frontiers - MSNBC.com

yeah, you can pretend you’re not a geek but the simple fact that you are reading a blog would tend to prove otherwise. sure, that alone doesn’t make you a huge geek but how will you really know until you take the quiz?

btw, i got 45. apparently i’m “on my way to geekdom.” i strongly disagree with these so-called “experts.” i am a firmly entrenched geek. exhibit a: i have my own friggin website where i figure out ways to post videos of light up rims. stupid newsweek. if i didn’t enjoy your periscope section so much, i’d almost never read you.

the link: Dub Pimpstar Wheels

the video (you’ll not only need, but want, sound for this):

so, if you see a blue corolla rockin’ the mudflap lady on its phat new 26’s, yeah, you know who it be. that’s how we roll up in my hood. U-C! wha wha! holla!

ahem, right, so i can see it now: 50 cent and eminem rolling in their suburban in detroit. 50’s driving and eminem is manning the laptop, updating the wheels while they drive. oh no! windows crashes! eminem hits alt+ctrl+del furiously and manages to end task on the dub editor. but now the wireless modem in the wheels won’t connect. the modem continues to attempt to connect in vain as the connect noise echos with a newly found depth thanks to the 20″ subby in the back…but the wheels display only the blue screen of death. on-lookers stand in befuddlement as they try to decipher what is meant by “fatal exception at boot sector XOQJDQQ82745189.” panicking, eminem calls dr. dre for tech support only to be rerouted to dre’s call center in india. eminem tries to text message g-unit for the link to a new isp while 50 launches into a diatribe about how os x is so much more stable. shady retorts that vista will be just as stable when its released but 50 is having none of it. he counters that vista and IE 7 are just knock-offs of os x and firefox in true microsoft fashion. eminem stops in mid-message and glares at 50. he brandishes his glock and demands 50 recognize bill gates as the true innovator he is. 50 holds firm and eminem busts cap number ten in 50. and so begins the new hip-hop wars. no longer east-side v. west-side, but now apple v. microsoft. lines are drawn and sides are chosen. the IT world is changed forever. the picture of some chronic and a puff of smoke never makes it to the wheels.

ok, so maybe that’s a little overboard, but it could happen. (thanks for indulging my very short story, though)

well, i know i haven’t been making a lot of entries lately despite having almost 100% free time. this isn’t for lack of topics. it may be slightly due to lack of motivation but mostly its out of lack of coherency in my topic ideas. i could either spend 2 hours drafting a jarbled stream of consciousness (very nietzsche, i know) or i could give it a couple days and let it sort itself out. i’m opting to let my topics sort themselves out. so new content is on the way, eventually.

plus, if you’ve ever sat here, reading this blog and thought to yourself, “i’d really like to hear the voice behind the madness”, you’re in luck. i’m toying with the idea of starting up a podcast. this is all contingent on me finding some software to record them, getting some topics in place and, most importantly, finding the microphone i think i have packed away somewhere. we’ll see how this pans out.

so yes, there is stuff on the horizon, but for now, i’m gonna get to reading for fun (yes, for fun!). in the meantime, to fill the void, i have been posting some new pics to my flickr page which may almost pass as blog entries.

so, motivated by a comment i received from a random person claiming to be named paresh (a comment which i deleted not out of spite but because i didn’t entirely trust that it wasn’t comment spam), i decided to google my first name to see how plausible it was that this site would come up. i know it comes up when you google my full name but the last time i checked (admittedly, a very long time ago) it didn’t come up until the 5th page or so. you see, there’s this rather famous indian actor named paresh rawal who should, by any calculation, dominate the results.

well, i’m kinda happy to report that this site appears on the first page (albeit, towards the bottom). and i say “kinda happy” because google has chosen this excerpt from a previous entry as the snippet that appears just below the link: “so, to summarize, calm the hell down kid rock. no one wants to see your willy. they never have. they never will”

damn this internet. damn it to hell.

so i’ve been waking up at 6am the last week and a half to drive my sister to bart while her car is in the shop recovering from an unfortunate (and completely not my fault for once) run-in it had with my dad’s van. seeing as i have nothing else to wake up early for, i actually went back to sleep after i got back the first couple days. the problem here is that it would take me another 45min to fall asleep again and when i woke up i felt like i was waking up from a nap that entirely too short. so i have taken to staying awake and watching early morning tv.

its been a long time since i’ve watched tv this early and i forgot about just how many televangelists are on at this time of day. yesterday i caught part of a faith healer curing chinese people in australia which was ridiculous as always. but, then while quickly changing channels past the lady screaming something in chinese as the dude hit her leg, i landed on everyone’s favorite crazy: pat robertson. oh yes, it was the 700 club and pat robertson craziness was in full effect.

apparently, they report the “news” on the 700 club and i use quotation marks because after every story comes 2 minutes of pat robertson commentary. it was kinda like watching fox except even more blatant, shameless and deranged. it went something like this:

“news” anchor: the australian coast is still reeling from a category 5 cyclone that has displaced thousands of people and destroyed millions in property and agriculture.

pat robertson: you know, its funny you mention that–heh heh–i was communicating with the lord just the other day and he warned that this year will be extraordinary for natural disasters. there will be horrific earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, even more hurricanes in the gulf and a tsunami that will destroy much of the west coast.

“news” anchor: thank you, pat. [resuming broadcast] a recent study indicated that americans are saving far too lottle for retirement…

i haven’t heard this kind of senile babble since jack and rexella van impe were still on the air or since the yahweh ben yahweh crazies had their show on davis public access. for those of you that never caught the van impes, jack is a “minister” that specialized in dispensing his allegedly biblically-sound prophecies about how were all screwed for some reason or another. rexella was his drugged-up wife who would sit next to him with a totally blank stare and every so often just turn and say “wow…praise the lord for we are saved!” and other such nonsense. ok, so i don’t know for sure if she was in fact drugged but that is the only logical explanation. for a full analysis of the van impes, check out this site i just found. it deals with the van impes’ favorite topic: why god (or satan) will destroy us on y2k. and yahweh ben yahweh was this group of people that thought the son of god (yahweh ben yahweh) was not jesus, but in fact a guy in prison in florida for second degree murder. they also think the government is plotting to destory them and, to that end, they have initiated a counterattack. oh yes, that’s good crazy.

so, i know what you’re thinking. “why the hell did you keep watching these people when you could have been alseep?” watching pat robertson and hating every word that comes out of his mouth is still more entertaining than watching matt lauer try to resist his urge to hump katie couric’s leg on-air and watch al roker fight the urge to devour them all.