Paresh’s Blog

so i watched king of the hill earlier for the first time in a long time, and it didn’t take long before i was reminded why i don’t like the show. the episode was about peggy hill’s fight to make the middle school wrestling team co-ed. in order to accommodate the one girl on the team, they had to cut a boy and that boy was bobby hill. hank, who was once proud of the boy for making a team, is now disgruntled by bobby’s displacement in favor of a girl and this conversation ensued:

HANK: I thought you were busy teaching girls to blow up basketballs. When did this turn into a desire to ruin wrestling?
PEGGY: Oh, give me a break. I don’t see how having a girl on the team would ruin it. Did a woman judge ruin the Supreme Court?
HANK: Yes, and that woman’s name was Earl Warren.

that’s a cheap shot. yeah, the show takes place in texas and the main characters are all good ole boys, but that’s still low. it wasn’t even part of an overall pardoy or satire. they just dropped it and then changed scenes. i enjoy a good supreme court joke as much as the next guy, but at least earl warren should be off limits.

so i was watching charlie rose this morning and i’ve decided that if/when i ever run for president, i’m making him my secretary of everything. you see, he’s a genius. he has an expansive knowledge of any topic you could possibly think of. he’s like a walking, talking version of wikipedia. and even if most of this perceived knowledge comes purely from his researchers, he can at least fake it to make it look like he knew everything already. and that, my friends, is a valuable skill.

so i was in vegas over the weekend (my sister had a conference for work in vegas and i tagged along) and its an interesting place. neither my sister nor i had been to vegas before and there was a lot of wide-eyed fancy on my part at least. its a helluva place and you kinda expect the entire place to be out of the ordinary from the moment you’re about to land because the airport is literally about 50 feet from the strip. but i did my best to soak it all in in the three days i was there without looking like too much of a tourist which wasn’t easy considering i was walking around with a camera most of the day friday and saturday (pics here). anyhow, i’ll spare you the rambling, detailed account of those three days (for now) but here are a few select scenes:

Scene 1. Thursday evening at some swanky steakhouse at the wynn.

ME (wearing shorts and sandals): crap, this place says no shorts allowed.
MY SISTER: whatever, mike and wendy already have a table. we’ll just sneak past the maitre’d and go sit down.

-30 seconds later, at the table-

MANAGER: i’m sorry sir, but we don’t allow shorts in the dining room
ME: but i’m already here and we already have a table
MANAGER: i’m sorry sir, but i can’t even let you sit down in the dining room. you’ll have to leave.
ME: -getting escorted out the door by the manager-

/scene

Scene 2: At a blackjack table at the rio.

DEALER: are you latino?
ME: um, no. i’m indian.
DEALER: really? you don’t look indian.
ME: my parents will be disappointed to hear that.
DEALER: you don’t sound indian either.
ME: that’s a good thing isn’t it? its not like the indian accent is the coolest in the world.
DEALER: -taken aback- oh, no, that’s not what i meant. -leaning closer- i didn’t say that.
ME: yeah, don’t worry. i’m indian. i can make jokes about indians.

/scene (btw, i didn’t even win that hand)

Scene 3. My sister and I walking into the hotel.

CONCIERGE: hi! are you two just checking in? do you have any show tickets yet?
MY SISTER: yeah, we just got here, but we don’t have any tickets yet.
CONCIERGE: -ushering us to the show ticket counter- well, what are you interested in?
ME: we don’t know yet, we just got here and we’d actually like to check in first.
CONCIERGE: oh, well are you two married?
ME: no, she’s m–
CONCIERGE: dating?
MY SISTER: no, we’re brother and sister

/scene

Scene 4: At the show ticket counter at new york new york.

ME: yeah, we were wondering what shows you have tickets for and if you have any tickets available for tonight.
TICKET LADY: we have a cirque show called zumanity playing here at the hotel. its a very grown up show meant for couples. are you two dating?
ME: no, she’s m–
TICKET LADY: are you newlyweds?
MY SISTER: no, we’re brother and sister
TICKET LADY: oh, never mind.

/scene

Scene 5: On the elevator at the hotel.

DRUNK GUY: -to me and my sister- holy hell, man, i tell you don’t ever get married.
DRUNK GUY’S MOTHER IN LAW: ignore him, these two just got married -pointing to drunk guy and other girl-
ME: don’t worry, its ok.
DRUNK GUY: you guys married?
ME: no, we’—
DRUNK GUY: y’all dating?
MY SISTER: no, he’s my brother.
DRUNK GUY: -leaving the elevator- well, don’t ever you two ever have one of these -pointing to stroller he’s pushing-
ME: yeah, we’ll try keep that in mind.

/scene

 so me, andy and alvin went to san francisco over the weekend to check out some of the fleet week activities. of particular interest to us was the red bull air races and the airshow (pictures here). i was especially eager to see the airshow since the blue angels were in town. the last time i went to fleet week was in 2004 and thanks to some scheduling snafu, the blue anges were in hawaii and we got stuck with the canadian snowbirds which, like everything else from canada, were disappointing (i have the pictures posted here). but the blue angels were back this year and i’ll admit, as the son of a defense company engineer, i was excited.

so i took bart to the city and met up with andy and alvin at the muni stop. we hopped on the bus which soon filled up with dozens of tourists heading for fisherman’s wharf. after playing a very short game of “guess the language” we ended up getting off a few blocks early. on the upside, it gave us a chance to walk along a lot of the bay to get the best vantage point for the red bull air races. after finding aquatic park to be bursting at the seams, we walked along the shore to fort mason only to find all the hill paths and a good deal of the actual hills were also full. finally, we found a pier at fort mason that, despite being very crowded, gave a decent view of most of the course. the races themselves were pretty cool. some of these pilots were really gunning the planes hard and barreling through the floating gates. i have no idea who won but it was entertaining nonetheless. i was kinda hoping for some head to head racing but i suppose the course and locale was too tight to really accomodate that safely. ha, if nothing else, some guy with a cessna should’ve flown the course just to grab some glory.
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